I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize