U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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