If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
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