just tell him i said nine months
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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