Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
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