Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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