You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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