We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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