Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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