Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize