she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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