i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize