Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize