Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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