ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
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I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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