every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
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Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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