Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
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I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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