My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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