Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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