i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
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