u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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