Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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