I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Randomize