Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize