The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize