Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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