I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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