insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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