My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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