Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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