The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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