Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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