I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
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gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
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I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
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