Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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