from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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