let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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