its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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