turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
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Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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