i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
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Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
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It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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