I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
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