I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize