roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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