she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize