It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize