This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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