I wannas sexs uuuuu
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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