obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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