..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
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You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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