sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize