dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
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