I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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